I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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