But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
