How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
