Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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