so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
