I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
