It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
im on a boat
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