Everything about him screamed your future.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
