'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
