Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
