If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
