How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
