We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
