Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
