Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
