Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
