a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
