once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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