try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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