Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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