it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
