ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
