After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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