Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just threw up on my dentist
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
