Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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