Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
