His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
