I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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