MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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