I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
