Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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