Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
