Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
