so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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