I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
