it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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