I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
