then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
