i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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