FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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