The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
