Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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