Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
