1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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