No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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