you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
