My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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