She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
