I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
