I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
