OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
