Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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